Archive | January, 2012

A Coconut and A Chickie

31 Jan

For the past almost 10 years I had a pug. While pugs are the sweetest most lovely animals, they are not the greatest problem solvers. Now I have a Coconut (a pure white devil-mutt)

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Arrrgh Walking the Docks

She is insanely clever. OR I am woefully unfamiliar with how normal dogs solve problems. Here is Coconut in action.

Coconut and her Chickie

Watch as she gets her chickie, chews an power cord and thrills both Emma and I. Ok – just me, I am easily amused.

Take 1

Take 2

Take 3

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Sisterly Love

31 Jan
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Da Mama, Karina and Me

I don’t normally look to my sister for sympathy — that’s just not the sisterly bond we have, with that I messaged her today to talk to her about the impending deployment of The Pirate in 15 days.  Yes – you calculated that correctly he is deploying on Valentines Day.

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Wisco Love

Our bond is usually more focused on terrorizing our brothers in tandem and drinking fine beverages such as PBR.

But today I was feeling particularly sad so I messaged her.

me:  i havent been sleeping well for days – bedtime makes me the saddest, because i can count the nights i have left with The Pirate
Karina:  ur getting married, you have eternity to sleep together.
(I don’t respond…)
 Karina:  so find a new bf
 me:  Umm NO! — i dont want a new bf, i just dont want him to leave
 (Long Pause)
 Karina:  i was kidding
 Karina:  its life, gotta deal.  It’s better than him breaking up with you
 Karina: guess what? im in Rome! Its sooo so beautiful here, i love it, but i have to go to dinner now!
End of Conversation.
Remind me next time to keep my thoughts to myself!!!

ARRRRGGHHH Thar She Blows

30 Jan

It is winter in DC – well sort of.  It gets cold and icey then warm enough you think spring is just a few days away.  I have many complaints about this city – but its schizophrenic winter is a welcomed relief for us non-land-lubbers.

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(green grass in January)

Winters on the boat generally entail, icy docks, slippery ladders, frosty cold hand railings and dark freezing nights standing outside filling up the water tanks.  Boat winters are an overall head ache when trying to maneuver a 100lb Great Dane off a slick boat and keep a hellion Coconut out from under foot and OUT of the frigid water.  It is tricky.

That’s not to say all winter weather is bad, I personally am a huge fan of the giant bubbler that lives under our boat.  It pushes air through the water to ensure the water doesn’t freeze around the hull.  It is the most soothing, marvelous sound.  I feel like I’m in a warm fish bowl with my pirate and puppies.   Who can say that they fall to sleep to GLUP GLUP GLUP and the gentle rocking of a boat??

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A Winter Morning

Well friends I cannot say that I do either any more.  This winter it hasn’t EVEN gotten cold enough to turn on my beloved bubbler and last night I didn’t get a wink of sleep.

Mother Nature unfurled her anger around 10p.m. and whipped up the wind to beat our boats mercilessly, ALL night.  It sounded like there were thousands of little men kicking the boat from all sides, coupled with the tight lines wining as they were pulled and pushed by the winds. (I admit I have pretty consistent nightmares when its rough out – that all FIVE of the lines will snap and we will float down the Potomac unknowingly)  The Pirate says I’m paranoid, but this morning I knew I wasn’t, because when my alarm went off at 7:00a.m. the dogs looked at me like I was crazy to be getting up because they clearly hadn’t slept a wink either.

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Groggy Emma and a Coconut Butt

I didn’t think dogs could look exhausted, but this morning Emma could barely open her eyes and Coconut at the sound of my alarm perked her ears up then burrowed as far under the blankets as possible.  Alas, I wish I could have done the same.

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Sleep Sleep Little One

BUT…. SOMEONE has to bring home the bacon!!!

My Sweet Peggy Lou

27 Jan

Once upon a time, I had a pug.  Her name was Peggy Lou and she was the apple of my eye.

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Peggy and her corn

After being showed a couple of times and only receiving 3rd place, she was sold by her breeder when she was a ripe one year old.  Peggy was a failed show dog.  (but not in our eyes!!)   We got Peggy when I was a freshman in high school and from that day forward Peggy was and I were inseparable.  If I did my homework she was on my lap.  If I was eating dinner she was right there with me.  If someone came over whom I detested (mostly my sister’s orchestra friends) she hated them too.  We were one unit.

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Swimming Together

Now Peggy wasn’t without her faults.  She had a certain aroma in which most despised.  I’m looking at you KbCatCrazy….  She shed, snored, sneezed and grunted like there was no tomorrow, and her halitosis could make you faint.  Frankly, I could not have found any of these qualities more endearing than I already did – she was my stinky pug and I loved her for it.

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Peggy and Emma on the bow

It wasn’t until I moved in with The Pirate did I find someone who loved her as much if not more than I did.

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Love

The Pirate with his rough exterior ADORED that stinky Peggy.  He was so enthused with her when she moved aboard that he made a video (or two) about it.

Check it out!

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Peggy Lou

27 Jan

A Video by The Pirate

No Pooping.

27 Jan

I have a very strict rule as The Pirate’s Sea Wench, and never EVER is one to divert from this rule:

Rule #1: NO POOPING ON THE BOAT unless there is an extreme circumstance.  (ie: explosive diarrhea)

To reiterate: there is absolutely NO, ‘not even if hell is freezing over’ POOPING onboard.  For those of you boat ‘novices’  El Corderito has toilets, but everything you do in an onboard toity stays onboard.  All of your dearly departed excrement goes below into a holding tank and sloshes around mercilessly until it is pumped out (usually at the end of every week- weather permitting).

So you may ask yourself, “Where do the Pirate and Sea Wench do their #2?” Valid question.  We walk 10 min down the docks, to the Marina Dock Office where they have proper-non-boat toilets.

This means we must anticipate our needs and plan our trips to the Dock Office according to our bowel movements.  An extra bonus: the Dock Office is where we pick up our mail.  We get the mail, do our dirty biz then come back to a poop free environment.  A fine routine if I say so myself!

Unfortunately this morning – I committed a cardinal sin.  It was pouring rain, I mean raining so hard the windows were leaking, the boat was rocking, the dogs were shaking in fear of the thunder AND it was pitch dark out – I shamefully did a dooddy in the toilet.

EPIC FAIL:

 IT CLOGGED!!!!!!!!  OMG As I flushed, the serraters that chop up the poo under the toliet serrated it then pushed it all back up into the toliet bowl.  I thought I was about to be sick watching my chopped up turd bubble back up to stare me in the face.  I was in a state of panic, so what did I do?

I walked away.  Thats right!!  I put the toilet lid down and shut the bathroom door.  The havoc that just went down in my bathroom was too much shit to handle. Literally.

So now I have blogged about it – and The Pirate will see this post, and hopefully leave work early and remedy the situation before I get home from work. 🙂

How The Wench Met Her Pirate Chap.2

26 Jan

I was astonished when the Latino opened his mouth and he spoke PERFECT English

WHAT?!?!?!?!??

“Hello, I’m Gabriel (from here on will be referred to as The Pirate).  What’s your name?” He said as he shook my hand and stared at me intensely with his flinty eyes.

“Hi, I’m Charlotte.”  Grinning like a fool.  Oooooooh-eeeee! He was so crazy handsome.

“You have beautiful eyes.” He said, but I wasn’t listening; he could have said I stank like poo and I would have said:  “thank you” just the same.

We started talking err.. he talked and I grinned like an idiot.  Amy soon walked away mumbling something about how it was annoying that he was only speaking to me.  An hour or so later he invited me to come to his boat because it was time to walk his dog, Emma.

Oh!” I thought to myself, “I love puppies.”  Even though I thought this was a PLOY to get me away from the party I was much obliged.

When we got to the boat I saw in huge lettering “El Corderito” was inscribed on the back.

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El Corderito

Little Lamb, you call your giant boat LITTLE LAMB?!?!?” I thought to myself, this guy is a little odd.  THEN – Emma came out from inside the boat.  So much for cute puppy…

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The Pirate and Emma

She was a MOTHER EFFING Great Dane!!  After getting over the shock of his behemoth dog, we walked her for a bit then he asked if I wanted to see the interior of his boat.  I was beyond incredulous.

“Seriously?  Do I want to see your boat?  How many tens of thousands of women have you used THAT line on before?? You are a ho-bag aren’t you??”  He laughed and said,

“No, come on, I’ll show you around, I bet you’ve never seen a boat like mine before.” I conceded and ‘got on board’ ha!

He was a perfect gentleman he showed me the aft cabin, the galley kitchen, the salon then the master bedroom.  I was beyond smittened.  As we were about to leave, he pulled me towards him wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a long sweet kiss.  My knees went weak; I smiled, then blushed and looked away after he released me.  WOW.  Who was this rico-suave-pirate-man?!?!?

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On Board El Corderito

We returned to the party on the barge and kept talking and I learned a lot very quickly.

– He was Cuban and no – not a boat hand

– Yes, he lived aboard the boat full time with his dog Emma.  He had only lived in the city a few years, and before coming to DC he had lived all around the world working for the government.

– I also found out he worked at the Pentagon and in the intelligence community!! for realz.

HELLO MY NEW LOVE!!! He was a secret-agent-rico-suave-pirate-man.    (and even better, my mother was going to die when I told her about my new Pirate love interest)

Later on that night around midnight, I left with Amy and gave The Pirate my phone number and smiled my biggest

YOU BETTER CALL ME I REALLY LIKE YOU-or-ELSE”  smile.  He grinned back at me and gave me another kiss, and I was heaven.

To Be Continued…..